Rambling Rector

Out of body experience

2011-10-24T15:44:00.001+01:00

I recently had an ‘out of body experience’. No, I didn’t have an accident or operation and see bright lights at the end of tunnels, or anything of that sort, so please don’t be alarmed. But I did have a consultation with an Audiologist who had a clever device that allowed her to look inside my ear. This device was also linked to a computer screen so when she used the device to look in my ear I could also see inside my ear by looking at the screen. That was a first for me as I have never seen inside my ear before. It was like an out of body experience.

The reason I was visiting an audiologist was to have a pair of earplugs custom made for use on my motorbike. Earplugs are important when riding a motorbike because the noise can cause serious damage to your hearing, not the noise of the bike but the noise of the wind. It is important from a safety point of view that you can hear the bike, other traffic and emergency vehicles’. So in order to hear what you need to hear and to not hear the wind you need to wear earplugs fitted with special filters that remove or filter out the wind noise.

As well as damaging your hearing, wind noise can be very distracting and ruins your concentration, with the earplugs in place you can hear what you need to hear and nothing else. Wouldn't it be wonderful, as we approach the season of Advent, a season of anticipation, a season for preparation, a time to listen to God as we ready ourselves for the coming of the Christ Child at Christmas, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could be fitted with a special pair of Advent Earplugs, to filter out all the distractions, the commercialism, the greed, the marketing that is associated with Christmas.

Well the really good news is that such a device is available and the even better news is that it is free of charge! Custom made earplugs for motorbike riding are quite expensive but Advent Earplugs are totally free of charge you can find them anywhere and everywhere and the brand name is ‘prayer’.

Summer Time

2011-08-15T22:45:00.002+01:00

A fine lunch

Sunday 14 August the sun was shining and I headed off on the Goldwing from Forres to Badacro, near Gairloch on the West Coast, along with a group of 15 other bikers from the Moray Coast Motorcycle Club.

The scenery is stunning on the roads to the West and the hills especially Beinn Eighe stood out on the skyline as the sun shone.

Destination was the Badacro Inn where a most agreeable lunch awaited. After some relaxing and chat in the sunshine the run home was just as enjoyable. The round trip is just over 200 miles on some of the best biking country in the world.

Confirmation at St John's Forres

2011-04-03T17:45:00.000+01:00

Rebekah, Oliver and Nichola

Bishop Mark celebrated the Eucharist at St John’s Forres on Mothering Sunday and Confirmed Nichola Kippax, Oliver Clark and Rebekah Sutherland. Following the Service everyone enjoyed a splendid Parish Lunch in the Church Hall.

Nichola, Dean Cliff, Oliver, Bishop Mark and Rebekah

The Cake

The Feast

Fast and Accurate - Sat Nav on a Bike!

2011-03-25T15:59:00.001Z

The Socket I ordered from Cyclemax arrived today, 5 days from America is a better delivery time than I've had from some UK suppliers! Made a hole in the nearside pocket where X marks the spot, pushed the socket into place and pluged into the wiring harness. The jobs a goodun and very easy to do. The only thing that puzzles me is why Honda don't fit it as standard when the bike is new!!

I can now use the Sat Nav on the bike and charge my ipod and mobile phone. Handy as well for plugging in the pump to keep those all important tyre pressures correct. All I need now is some decent weather and the time to ride the bike!

Temptation

2011-03-16T16:07:00.000Z

I gave in to Temptation today. I was busy beavering away at producing The Eagle - which is St John's Parish Magazine. I was distracted by the sun streaming through the Study window, the clear blue sky and the fact that I have not had the bike out for over a week, due to the miserable weather and a sore back. I did need to re-fuel the bike (before petrol goes up even more) and I did need to test the wiring for the sound system. I didn't go far but far enough to lift the spirit - down to Findhorn Bay, calm sea and the snow capped hills of Ross Shire across the Firth, just glorious! Fully inspired now and back to the Eagle!

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

2011-03-15T15:25:00.001Z

My parcel from America arrived today - an Edset that's how they spell head set over there!

A good quality piece of kit that was easy to fit, in fact it was a perfect fit in my Nolan Air Crash Helmet. The Honda Goldwing Motorcycle has a Radio and a six disk CD Player and the Edset speakers fit inside the Crash Helmet and then plugs directly into the bikes sound system and gives good quality sound.

This means I will be able to cruise the High Street without the speakers blaring causing parents to grab their kids and run into shops and cruise the highways and byways without stampeding cattle, at least I hoped that would be the outcome.

The one snag was that the connection lead to connect the helmet to the bike was not included in the kit! No problem I thought, the lead needs to be a curled lead 1.5 metres long with a 5 pin Din Plug at each end. The best I could find locally by scouring all the electrical specialist including Maplins was a straight 3 Metre Lead. As a last resort I tried my local Computer Shop who just happened to have a 1.5 curled lead with a 5 Pin Din Plug at one end and a 5 pin socket at the other. Off with the socket and some nimble soldering soon had a new DIn Plug in place. It works a treat a great result.

New Wheels for Rambling Rector

2011-02-04T16:37:00.001Z

The new biking season is almost upon us and what better way to prepare than than with a new (second hand) bike. I loved my previous bike, the Honda VFR 800, the performance was stunning and it was a really exhilarating machine to ride - so why change you say.

Well I was using the bike for work as well as pleasure and whilst I am only 21 in my head my hips are approaching 60 and I was finding that after a long day in the saddle I was a bit sore. The new bike is a Honda 1800 Gold Wing, a really comfortable bike that you can ride all day everyday - all I need now is a little better weather!

Biretta - First Outing

2011-01-09T15:45:00.002Z

Wore the new Biretta for the first time at St John's today - what did the Congregation think? Greeted with a round of applause - result.

Ovens & Birettas

2011-01-08T17:38:00.002Z

The Postman made some interesting deliveries this week the first was a new heating element for the Rectory Oven which had failed just before the Annual Epiphany Party - it made the catering especially challenging! The new one from an on-line company called espares arrived promptly and took less than 10 minutes to fit, normal service has been restored and Sunday Roast is back on the menu.

The next package to arrive was a Biretta, a gift from one of my lovely Parishioners. I look forward to wearing it.

I understand that the rubrics of St Mary's Cathedral Glasgow state that the Biretta is to be worn when it is snowing so with the current weather it may well get an outing tomorrow.

2010-12-24T17:12:00.000Z

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY

Winter Sports!

2010-12-07T17:10:00.001Z

Fed up with playing snowballs and making snow people? Part of the family menagerie is Halima the horse. To keep the field tidy and to provide for the roses it is necessary to clean up after the horse - a particularly interesting pass time in the snow is poo picking. I don't expect it is very likely to catch on as an Olympic Sport though!

Happy Anniversary to me

2010-12-07T17:00:00.002Z

Friday 3rd December, the Feast of Francis Xavier, was the 16th Anniversary of my priesting. Not only was I invited out to a delicious dinner but the Bishop's Confectioner, Douglas Campbell, made me a delicious Anniversary Cake modelled in the shape of a motorcycle crash helmet. Yum!

End of Season Run Moray Coast Motorcycle Club

2010-10-24T20:07:00.000+01:00

The picture is taken from the Kinlochbervie Hotel, my bike is the second from the left.

Fantastic day today with the Moray Coast Motorcycle Club end of season run. The day started with celebrating Mass at the 8.00 am Service at St John's then waiting on the Forres bypass for the Club who left Elgin at 9.00 am. First stop was Skiach Services at Evanton for a coffee and bacon roll, refuelled the bikes and then off to the West Coast arriving at the Kinlochbervie Hotel for Lunch. A cold but bright and clear blue sky day in some of the best biking country in the world, just unbeatable! After lunch we headed down the coast, over the Kylesku Bridge to Ullapool, refuelled the bikes and then a fast run on clear open roads down to Garve for a coffee stop. From Garve back to Inverness and on home to Moray with a welcome beef stew in front of the fire. It just doesn't get any better.

Inaugural Run

2010-10-02T18:22:00.001+01:00

Out for my first run on the new bike today, from Forres through to Nairn then up over the Dava Moor and back to Forres via Snab of Moy. Awesome performance and such an enjoyable experience. I like the camaraderie of other bikers waving to you and the new perspective of being on a bike rather than in a car. Some people have said to me why? What is the attraction of riding a bike? Well in a sense it is a form of meditation, because riding a fast bike requires 100% concentration you need to clear your mind of all other thoughts and distractions and focus totally on you, the bike, and the environment and that is why it is so relaxing and enjoyable.

Midlife Crisis

2010-09-30T21:27:00.001+01:00

Life has been quite hectic of late hence little or no blogging. So what have I been so busy at? Well basically I have been thoroughly enjoying a mid-life crisis by fulfilling a long term ambition. Back in June I started to learn to ride a motorcycle. As a teenager I used to ride small motorbikes and always promised myself that one day I would learn to ride a big bike.

Had I really known just how challenging the process would be I probably would not have started. Learning to ride a big bike has been really rewarding and given me great respect for everyone who completes the journey. The first step is to sit the Theory Test and then to complete a CBT - Compulsory Basic Training Course, which is an intensive course of theory and a practical introduction to a 125 cc motor bike.You then progress to a 500 cc machine and train for Module 1, which is a practical driving test conducted at a test centre involving slaloms, U turns, emergency stops and slow and high speed manoeuvres. Then more training for the Module 2 which is a practical on road driving test. I successfully completed this final stage today and am now a fully qualified biker!

The picture above is my motorcycle a Honda 800 VFR VTEC which will give a whole new look (and Pace) to Deans visits in Moray!

West Coast Extravaganza

2010-04-23T15:09:00.004+01:00

The above picture is of Loch Carron and was taken as I was enroute to the Scottish Episcopal Church of St Donnan's Nostie last Friday the 16 April. At St Donnan's Father Tim Daplyn was installed by the Bishop of Moray, the Right Reverend Mark Strange, as Mission Rector. The Church was full and there was so much noise and excitement that we attracted the neighbouring pig down off the hill to come see what we were up to!

From Nostie it was off to the Caron Hotel for a delicious late Supper and then off over the Pass of the Cattle to Applecross for an overnight stay in one of the most comfortable B & Bs I have ever stayed in. After a hearty breakfast it was off to St Maelrubha's Church Poolewe,where after a fine buffet lunch it was time to install Father Tim into his second charge.

Father Tim Daplyn is pictured left with Bishop Mark.

From Poolewe it was on to the Church at Courthill Chapel, Kishorn, where Father Tim was installed into his third charge. The service here was followed of course by more food in the Community Centre. The West Coast is renowned for its legendary hospitality so, tired and well fed I headed home to Forres to prepare for Sundays Services in my own Church at St John's Forres. All in all a very satisfying weekend, with a bit of history making as well as this is the first time for around 200 years that this group of charges has had its own Rector. With prayers and blessings on Tim as he begins his exciting ministry in that place.

Happy Birthday to me

2010-04-10T19:11:00.001+01:00

Just back from a wonderful week away. We had a really joyful Easter here at St John's with the Triduum Services well attended and the Church full on Easter Day and was just ready for a break at the end of a very busy week. So off to Wales and the Llangollen Canal some brilliant weather, good company and good food. Thursday 8 April was my birthday and was celebrated afloat with family, good food and some very fine real ale!

As a relaxation Canal boating is really difficult to beat - no phones no internet, a maximum speed of 4 miles per hour. Combine that with really good weather and a willing crew and all is well!

Back home on Saturday night, a trillion emails, light flashing on the answer machine and the photocopier has run out of toner so tomorrows Pew Sheets are a little pale looking, but happy memories of a superb week.

Spring has sprung and so have the Windows

2010-03-24T09:51:00.001Z

Have been neglecting the blog of late so here comes an update. Life has been extremely hectic especially work wise as we get ever closer to opening the new Diocesan Centre at Arpafeelie. The finishing touches of any major project seen to take so long and some aspects seem unnecessasarily complicated for example obtaining a new phone line and a broadband connection.

But I digress. Spring has sprung and all around there are signs of new life the crocuses in the header picture are the view from the Study window across the road to the Grant Park.

It is a particularly clear view at the moment as there are no windows in the Study!

The Rectory is having its windows renovated by a company called Ventrolla the end result should be rattle free, draft free, easy opening windows. For anyone who lives in an 150 year old house with sash windows you will know that really will be a result. Will keep you posted.

Swimming in Loch Katrine

2010-01-27T16:16:00.002Z

Imagine the scene a calm dry day in the Trossacks, which in itself is a fairly rare event, the temperature is three degrees and the surface of Loch Katrine is like a mirror which is suddenly shattered by a dive and a swim. Well no not me, it was the dog of course. A brief paddle about and then out, a quick shake and a run about and then on with the walk.

Made me think of brother Kelvin, not that he swims in Loch Katrine, at least not that I know of, though he does swim in his local baths in Glasgow and it was the Kelvin/Glasgow connection that made me think of him as Loch Katrine supplies Glasgow's water. So, Kelvin, the dog says sorry if you find blonde hair in your water, but she promises me she did not have a wee so your tea should taste fine!

That was yesterday (Tuesday) and today enjoying even better weather with temperatures that reached ten degrees today. Had a look around Doune today and a good walk with the dog along Loch Achray, yes more swimming. Lazy afternoon with the books.

On top of the World

2010-01-25T17:48:00.000Z

Having tried to have a few days off after Christmas and failing miserably I am now enjoying a few days away in a little cottage in the Trossacks, just me, the dog, lots of books and some fantastic countryside.

Climbed Ben A'An today - sounds impressive dosen't it, but its not a Munro, not even a Corbett but Ben A'An has all the necessary attributes of a real mountain - a particularly steep, sometimes awkward path, a beautifully shaped summit and superb views from the top over Loch Acray and Loch Katrine.

The dog of course climbed it at least three times to my once and was still bouncing about when we got back to the cottage!

Winter wonderland and a Good New Year

2010-01-05T15:14:00.000Z

The weather is interesting here to say the least. The above picture is the horses field and it is proving interesting to get hay and food to her each day. On returning from last nights trip to feed the horse we had great difficulty getting the car back into the Rectory Drive and this morning we can't get out so had to get a lift from another mad horse owner who picked us up at the roadside. The main roads are passable but the sideroads are treacherous and getting worse.

Not everyone dislikes the snow of course and just across the road from the Rectory the local youngsters are really enjoying the sledging in the Grant Park.

A really good new year to you all.

Chasing the Tail

2009-12-16T12:00:00.001Z

Not much time for blogging at the moment. Writing sermons, preparing Service Sheets, (unjaming the phocopier**!!**) Carol Services, Christmas School Assembly's, a funeral tomorrow and the last Diocesan Standing Committee Meeting of the year tonight at 6.00 pm which will mean navigating the Christmas Shoppers traffic in Inverness.

All this coupled with the seasonal good will that the Ministry of Defence are making massive cuts at RAF Kinloss, the Health Board are delaying the building of a new Health Centre in Forres and the Moray Council are massively overspent and think that the best way forward is to cut front line services, especially the education of special needs children.

Its enough to make you want to chase your tail!

Bells smells and Golf

2009-12-08T15:24:00.001Z

What a great few days it has been here in Moray. On thursday, having been here for just over six years as priest in charge, I was installed as Rector at St John's Forres. The service was on thursday, the Feast Day of Francis Xavier and the fifteenth anniversary of my priesting. Bishop Mark presided and despite my anxious anticipation said nothing embarrassing in the sermon. The service was a High Mass with bells and smells followed by a sumptuous feast in the Rectory which turned into a very enjoyable evening indeed.

Today, tuesday, has been a wonderful day with clear blue skies, a bit of frost and an excellent game of golf on the Moray Old Course at Lossiemouth, made all the more enjoyable as my partner Bill and I cruised to an easy 3 & 2 victory.

Things go down hill a bit tomorrow as I have to be up at the crack of dawn to catch the 06.35 train from Inverness to Edinburgh to attend the Rural Futures Day Conference.

New Rector for St John's Forres

2009-11-27T15:53:00.001Z

Tiz the season for looking forward in anticipation and the coming week is full of anticipation, especially Thursday 3 December.

Firstly Thursday is the Feast Day of Francis Xavier and is the 15 anniversary of my priesting.

Secondly Thursday is the day that St John's Forres will install their new Rector. I suppose it is often the case on occasions like this that the congregation may wonder "what will the new Rector be like?"

Well I can answer that question with a degree of certainty in that the new Rector will be much like the outgoing Priest in Charge!

You see I really will become "Rambling Rector" on Thursday because St John's have adopted a new Constitution which necessitates my resigning as Priest in Charge and being installed as Rector.

I am anticipating the service with a mixture of joy and apprehension. The Sanctuary Bell is polished and the Rosa Mystica is ready! The service is at 6.30 pm do come if you can, otherwise keep St John's and me in prayers.

Christmas Carol Conspiracy

2009-11-19T11:05:00.002Z

Every year I have this debate with the Congregation, the Choir, the Youth Group and the Sunday School Leaders about how early we can start singing Christmas Carol's at St John's.

My stance is not until Advent is out and I endure the Bah Humbug insults and eventually compromise with having the St John's Carol Concert during the evening of the last Sunday in Advent, which this year is 20 December at 7.00 pm - do come along its always a good sing, finishing off with mulled wine and Christmas Pies. Earlier that day the Sunday School will perform their Christmas play at 10.00 am.

Having reached that amicable compromise which seemed to keep everyone happy I return to the Rectory to hear Bilbo the Parrot belting out "We wish you a happy Christmas" at the top of his voice, which is quite loud and I expect you can hear him from there!

What I want to know is who taught him that?

Vegetarian Graduation

2009-11-15T15:22:00.008Z

Spent Friday night and Saturday in Edinburgh to attend number two child's HND Graduation in Hospitality Management from Telford College. It was a great day and a very proud day for the whole family. It was a day that at one time I thought would never happen. Alan moved to Edinburgh some years ago now to attend University and decided not to complete his first year, having obtained employment in the Hospitality Industry. End of academia, or so the worried parents thought! Then two years ago, with no parental pressure what so ever, Alan announced that he was returning to study, the outcome of which was yesterdays graduation and two proud parents. Alan is continuing his studies and has already started his degree course, so another graduation ceremony to come.

The Graduation itself was very well done by Edinburgh's Telford College and took place in the McEwan Hall, Bristo Square. The Guest of Honour at these occasions, from past experience, can sometimes be a bit dull and irrelevant, but the speaker on this occasion was Iain Macleod McMillan CBE who is the Director of the Confederation of British Industry and his address was excellent.

So where does the "Vegetarian" part of the header come in you may ask? Well I am a committed carnivore and have been known to send back steaks that are overcooked i.e. not bloody. So after the event which ended at lunch time, proud dad says "where would you like to have lunch son, my treat?"

Alan is a vegetarian and said "I would like to go to David Bann Restaurant, on St Mary's Street", which unbeknown to me is a Vegetarian Restaurant. Having scanned the menu for dead animals and finding none I chose a Thai starter thing and a vegetable curry. Despite my scepticism an excellent meal that I very much enjoyed!

The Double Divas from Dublin

2009-11-10T14:14:00.007Z

What's all this about then? Do these people have talent or are they just there to annoy? Click on the header to this post to see what I am talking about.

Remembrance Sunday

2009-11-09T09:00:00.003Z

Remembrance Sunday in Forres is always a moving and dignified occasion made all the more special by the Parade and laying of wreaths at the war memorial. Forres has RAF Kinloss in the Parish and so the Parade is a grand affair with the RAF the Royal British Legion and the uniformed organisations of Air Cadets, Army Cadets, Scouts, Guides, Brownies and many others all led by the Pipe Band as we march from one end of the High Street to the other.

Over the past few years the crowds have grown in size and it seemed this Sunday as if the whole Town had turned out. You could feel the emotion at the laying of Wreaths, especially with there being many bereaved families with the loss of the Nimrod over Afghanistan.

It is a great privilege to lead such a service even though I did get really frustrated that the sound system did not work properly for the second year running and that the lone Piper started to play too early and cut out part of the service. On the other hand the trumpeter was superb and dead on cue, the sound of the Last Post and Reveille ringing out on a cold crisp morning somehow brings home the sense of sacrifice that is made by a few for so many.

Parrots and the Provost of Glasgow Cathedral

2009-11-06T11:08:00.008Z

What's the difference between a parrot and the Provost?

Well parrots are colourful and cheeky, they talk and sing a lot.
Mine even swings upside down from a chain, hanging on with just one toe, whilst reciting the responses to morning prayer, just to attract attention. So there you have it - there are obviously no similarities whatsoever between parrots and the Provost of Glasgow Cathedral!

Fr Kelvin thank you for encouraging me with my new blog and for sending lots of people to see my blog. I bet you are regretting doing so already. So never mind parrots by Christmas that's parrots before Advent!

Ever decreasing cirles

2009-11-05T12:01:00.003Z

Is it just me or does it seem to you as well that politicians, that august body of elected representatives, are simply going round and round in ever decreasing circles these days?
There are many examples but to take just two:

Why would anyone publicly sack a scientific advisor who offers proven advice about the effects of canabis and at the same time raise millions through a tax on alcohol and tobacco, implying at least that the latter is safer and endorsed by the Government for consumption. Even from my own staistics as a humble parish priest I know which of these kills and harms more people.

Least this seems partisan and I get accused of having a go at Gordon Brown what about David Cameron who seems to think that positive discrimination is the way to get more women into politics. I think that any form of discrimination is wrong, including positive discrimination. There are some very fine women politicians but perhaps the real reason that there are less women than men in politics today is because women have more sense!

Good Driving Day & Good Putting Day

2009-11-03T15:21:00.006Z

The Old Course Lossiemouth, Moray

Most amateur golfers will tell you that sometimes they have a good 'driving day' and sometimes they have a good 'putting day' and every now and again you have a good driving day AND a good putting day. I had one of those days today, much to the annoyance I may add, of the priest and head teacher that I was playing with!

The greens were soft from the recent rain, there was little or no wind which is very unusual for a links course like Lossiemouth, and the sun was shining. All in all a great morning and the best possible way to spend a day off.

Moray is an idyllic place to live and I really count my blessings on days like today playing golf alongside the Moray Firth with views northwards to Ross Shire and Sutherland, the occasional deer or hare darting across the fairway, a wee dram at the 10th, it really doesn't get much better than this. I just wish there were more Tuesdays in the week!

Between a rock and a hard place.

2009-11-02T15:49:00.005Z

Conducting funerals is a regular occurrence, if you happen to be a priest that is! However every now and again you get asked to take a funeral that tests you more than most. This Wednesday I will take the funeral of a good friend who sadly took his own life. Both of us have moved about a bit over the last few years and we have almost lost touch a time or two, but basically we have known each other for almost 30 years. The last reunion was in Tesco's of all places. I find that I minister there quite frequently, different sort of aisle but just as effective.

Inevitably relatives and others ask you what you think about suicide - where is the deceased soul? When this is someone you know and know relatively well it really does make you ask, well what do I really think? My friend was a good husband, a talented man, a good musician, a good friend. He had been unwell and receiving care from Mental Health Services, although I use the word 'care' advisedly and his recent behaviour had gotten him into conflict with the law.

What I believe is that he is with our Lord and that his suffering is ended for ever I just hope that I can find the words to convey that on Wednesday. Your prayers and thoughts are welcome.

Head above the the parapet

2009-10-30T12:02:00.004Z

My first blog! Well this is something I once said that I would never do, so I guess the first comment has to be "never say never". My reluctance about blogging has to a large degree been overcome by reading and learning from other people's blogs. Nonetheless it is still a bit scary putting your head above the parapet so I will send these few words off into the ether and see if there is anyone out there!